Episode - 65 I Will UNTIL with Darin Kidd

I WILL UNTIL with Darin Kidd, Changing your mindset after challenges, moving forward, becoming successful, and building a successful, balanced life as a parent. How does it all start? How can we move forward? How can it be done? Is it possible to have and build the life we want?

Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to do what it takes? 
Tune in for more with guest speaker Darin Kidd the Author, Coach, and motivational speak of I WILL UNTIL!


https://iwilluntil.com/
https://iwilluntil.com/book/

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Transcript

Cindy: 0:18

Hello, and welcome to Real Estate and the Adventures of Parenthood. And today I have a very, very important guest. And his name is Darinn kidd. Darin, welcome.

Darin: 0:30

Hey, Cindy, thanks for having me. And I love how you say the The Adventures of being a parent. Is that what you said?

Cindy: 0:36

Of course, there's always an Adventure with Parenthood, not only as a parent.

Darin: 0:42

Yes, yes, I'm with you on that one. No, it's an honor. Thank you for having me.

Cindy: 0:46

So Darin, can you tell me a little bit more about yourself? Like I know, you wrote an amazing book is become one of the best sellers on Amazon and different other platforms, too. So how did you come about with your book?

Darin: 1:01

All right. Well, that's a great question. So it was, it was the day that I walked in to my wife and our bedroom, I closed the door behind me. I'm walking by the windows that have sheets tacked on the windows because we couldn't afford curtains or mini blinds, and I walk over into the closet, I pull out this big, it's about a two foot, Coca Cola plastic piggy bank, and I told my oldest daughter, I'm like, Hey, listen, you know, put your money in here. Let's save the money. And some day, we'll go to Disney World. And someday was exactly what my dad was saying on his deathbed. 12 years ago, he's like, someday we'll do this. Someday, we'll do that. And unfortunately, someday, never came. And said, that's when I learned that someday leads to a town called nowhere. But also learn that some people some days or other people's everyday is but this day, I was pulling that piggy bank out. I had it on the floor, I was going through the change just to get enough for some milk, some bread, some peanut butter. And I'm going man, you know, this is terrible. And then my daughter walks in, seen me take her money for dizzy, runs out crying. And here I am on my hands and knees going God, how can I get this low? You know, I'm bankrupt. My car is repossessed. I'm on Medicaid applying for food stamps. I'm a college dropout. I live in a small town, and one depression medicine that made me feel worse than the depression. I'm like, what hope do I have. But then something clicked that day, I had enough, it hurt bad enough. And sometimes it doesn't hurt bad enough. But that day it did it. And I remember getting up off my hands and knees. Walking into the other room, I took a three and a half by five index card. Because like many of you, I knew that I was created for more. I knew that that it was possible. But I didn't know how to get there. And in my opinion, I believe we're, you know, created in the image of our Creator, designed for success, but program for failure. You know, the world tells us everyday more about our limitations and our possibilities. And so like many of you, I wanted a better life didn't know what to do. But I put on the wall. That was it. I go I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My family deserves a better life than this. And I wrote I will, until whatever it takes. And that's the book. You know, I will until because that was my mindset that was the day that it went from, you know, I want to I will and so every time I felt like quitting, which was 1000 times a day, I would rewind that that vision of my daughter running out of the room, and I go, they may quit on their family, I will not quit on mine, whatever it takes. So that's how the title of the book came about. And that was also a pivoting point. You know, in my life, I tell people, Look, you can't change your life overnight, but you can dang sure change the direction of your life overnight.

Cindy: 3:57

That is very, and that's true. It's just like, but then you're going through all that. How did it keep you moving forward? How did you change your whole mindset?

Darin: 4:09

Well, that's that's a great question. You know, the people go, Hey, look, you know, I'm burned out. I'm unmotivated. It's not burnout. It's a lack of clarity. Clarity gives you focus, and focus gives you energy. And anything we ever win we ever achieve. We win, we win and achieve in our head first. And so when you get clear on what it is that you really want, so if I go hey, Cindy, what is most important you in your life right now? And then you share that with me? Then what happens? That is the reasons for the reasons come first, the results come later. You know that motivation? What's the motive for your actions? It's having a crystal clear vision of what it is that you really want. And so when when I made that decision, that hey, look, no matter what it takes, my family deserves more. I had a really clear picture of why I wanted a better future for my family. I was fighting for my family. So it all starts with getting clarity on what you really want. I could do two hours on, you know the power of knowing exactly what you want in every single area of your life because if you can't see it in your mind, you can't Hold it in your hand. You know, Bob Proctor, the late Bob Proctor said, Look, if you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand. And it's so true what thou see us here. They'll be honest, if you can envision it, it's never going to come, you know, into reality. Because anything that we ever achieve, and we ever when we achieve and win in our head first.

Cindy: 5:38

That's, that's true. I mean, so after you change their mindset, how did you handle those challenges? Was it an easy road, because a lot of people nowadays is like, for instance, you want to lose weight, then they want to feel like liposuction, they, they want, they want to easy, they don't want to do the work. They don't want to go to the gym and workout, or like a business, you start a business like, Oh, it's too hard, and then they just give up. But then how do you actually continue with those challenges to face those challenges? or manage those challenges on a daily basis? Especially having five kids?

Darin: 6:18

Yeah, yeah, we do have five kids from you know, now they're older. I mean, that when I was bankrupt, it was when the 24 year old was once we have one that's almost 30, down to almost 15. And, you know, it was it was a mentor of mine that came into my life. You know, Cindy many years ago, and, and he goes, Darin, there's one person at the scene of every accident that you're involved in, in my life, right accidents, like every situation, he goes that you and I started thinking about, I'm like, You know what, to that point, I've been a victim, you know, poor pitiful me. Yeah. You know, I'm bankrupt. My car's repossessed, this person did this to me and man, a bad things are gonna happen. They're always happening to me, will and you're right, whether you think you can, or you can't, like Henry Ford said, You're right. And that point I was a victim, which means we have no control. So it went out. And we can make excuses. Or we can go out and have success, but we can't do both. And so that was the day I go, You know what it's true. Les Brown talks about at some point, we had a, we had an at some point in our life, we had an appointment, to be where we are right now, whether we like it or not, we are where we are in our life. Because of decisions that we made good or bad. I ended up bankrupt, because someone walked off building my house. So I could go man, he walked off building my house, he ruined everything. It's his fault. But guess who hired me. So when I go, You know what? I'm the one that hired him. So it's my response. As soon as you start taking control of your own life, and stop blaming everyone else, and that was hard for me. Then I go, Okay, now I can do something about it. I'm not going to focus on where I was, I'm not going to focus on where I've been, I'm focused on where I'm going. Because Don't look back, unless that's the way that you want to go. And when we when I changed my perspective, on challenges, we think that challenges and obstacles failure, it's negative, that's our enemy. Because when I couldn't feed my kids, when I was bankrupt, when I was depressed, when people go dead, and I thought your house was abandoned, you got sheets on your windows, you have no grass in your yard, there's weeds everywhere, you know, the life was crumbling down on me. If you just said, this is awesome, you can't feed your kids can't support your wife can't keep a job, you're depressed. I wouldn't have taken it well, but looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because again, it's not the easy times that make us grow. We don't grow in easy times. We have to make the decision. Am I going to use this as a stumbling block or a building block? Is it going to make me better? Or is it going to make me better. So when I took full responsibility for me, and I go, I'd be damned if I'm gonna live the rest of my life like this, my family deserves more. And we're going to have more I knew why I knew my reasons. And when you have your reasons, for example, when I would look at my family, look at my kids, Cindy, when you look at your children, that helps you stay strong enough, long enough, in the process of battling the emotional roller coaster, every single day. So that clarity gives you focus. The focus gives you energy, your why your reasons keep you fighting every single day going, you know what they can quit on their family. I'm not quitting on mine. And then when I looked at the challenges, and I started changing the questions that I asked myself, because the quality of our life is determined by the quality questions that we ask ourself, so they go on why me? Why pitiful me Why do bad things always happen to me? I sort of go and look, how can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? And then I heard someone speak. I was sitting in the back of a room Sunday, I was having a pity party. All the excuses. They must be in big cities. I live in a small town. They must be great public speakers. I'll pass out in front of five people. They must have a college education. I have a lack of education. And it all of a sudden he goes look can you get a little bit better today? Then you're yesterday. And I'm like, um, I think so. Can you read 10 pages that have a good book? Well, even though my mind is like a squirrel on crack, or a chihuahua jacked up on Red Bull, I can read 10 pages, but sometimes I have to go back and read them again, because my mind wanders. But yeah, I can do that. I can listen to 1520 minutes of a training podcast, audio a day. Well, if you're doing 10 pages a day, that's about a book a month. So in 10 years, you've read over 100 Most people had read Tim, for when I started going, Okay, I'm just gonna get a little bit better today. 1% better a day, is 37 times better in one year, not 37%. And Cindy, this type of attitude going, You know what, I'm gonna get a little bit better. Because the decisions that we make daily, and I'll share with you what my oldest daughter shared with us the other day, the challenge is that you're getting up early, the kids kept you up late. The bills are coming in the stress of business, all of these things, but you get up and you're reading, you're plugging into this podcast. Today, it seems like it really didn't make that big of a difference. I go to McDonald's, and eat a Big Mac french fries milkshake. You're not gonna see anything today. But if I eat it over a period of time, there's gonna be some serious health challenges from doing that. So the compounding effect on a daily basis, over a period of time we become different people. And my daughter, I called her I was on a zoom with a with a with a coaching group that I'm working with. And I go listen, and we were talking about the concept of your daily habits and rituals. And at first you create them than they create you. And so I asked my daughter, I'm like, Hey, Taylor. Okay, I taught you that when you were a little girl. Just doing a little bit every day. How many books did you read last year? Last year 150 to 152 books. So these things when I started changing the way I looked at challenges, look, challenges are my friend. Obstacles lead to elevation, without obstacles, there is no elevation. Sometimes we have to go through what God is trying to get us to. And Sydney there been times in my life where I'm like, God, am I being punished. Like I'm trying to do the right thing. You know, my heart, I'm fighting every day. And in the end, I look back and go, Man, he was going no, it's not punishment, it's preparation, the same version that you Darren that got you to where you are, it's not the same version that gets you to the next level, to get something different. You have to do something different, you have to be something different. So the challenges and obstacles if you embrace them, if you look at him, failure is a great teacher. From those obstacles. It hurt bad enough to make me move. It made me clarify my vision, my reasons, my goals, my dreams, when it hurt that enough. And then when I knew it was something that I could do, I can get a little bit better every day. Changed my life.

Cindy: 13:29

And but you're right, because it's just like the victim mentality. All but this happened. Oh, but this happened to me. Oh, no. And then not only that, it's just like people, most people focus on victimizing themselves on the pity party on the Oh, but this happened to me it's going to happen again, is nothing's going to change. But then words have power to so then if you don't change the mentality be like, You know what, in every negative situation, or let's say or any any negative situation, there's always going to be a positive outcome. Let's say for instance, if I if I say, you know, I've had my ups and downs to relationship wise, relationship wise, business wise, I mean, all over the place. And in my case, I started competing in computer science. And believe me, math was a challenge for me completely. I mean, you go through calculus, like, oh, my gosh, I'm gonna give up, I'm gonna give up and you try over and over and over again. But now, I have, let's say, for instance, for me, I couldn't see myself as an engineer. But then I went ahead and I took my real estate license test eight times. Did I give up? I cried a lot. Believe me. I cried a lot. But did I give up that is a question. I did not give up. Because I know where I want it to be. I know what I want it to be. Was that afraid? Yeah. Did I victimize myself? Yes. Sometimes I would put myself in a pity party. I'm not gonna lie. But I continue to be like, but why did this happen to me? I mean, we question yourself over and over again, but it's going to come down to where do you see yourself? Do you Things that you can achieve, you know, owning a house, you know, let's say for instance, owning a house or going on a Disney trip. And that is right. You know, I actually can relate with you. It's funny because my dad he when I was little he always promised us like taking us on trips, taking us on an a Disney cruise. And my dad's like, oh, you know what, I'm going to take you guys on a Disney cruise, Disney Cruise, Disney Cruise. 25 years later. He's like, hey, you know what, I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take the grandkids to Disney to a Disney cruise. So the other day, I sent them the the reservation, I'm like, Look, Dad, thank you. But I got tired of waiting on that Disney Cruise. I'm taking the kids to Disney on a Disney cruise. And it's those little things. But when we're a child, we don't see those those. You know, what our parents are going through, or we just see like, you know, butterflies and unicorns. But if you keep on moving forward with consistency, and not giving up and seeing your motivation, like right now, this is my motivation. I haven't I have a I got a big whiteboard. And I'm writing everything that I want to accomplish this year. And I haven't set by a quarter by quarter 123 and four, yes, even as a real estate agent or as an entrepreneur, you actually have to create a a system for yourself. You know, you need to actually, yeah, system so you can actually continue growing and evolving with time, no matter how good it is. But you got to fill forward.

Darin: 16:55

Absolutely. Yeah, I had a have a single mom here in Virginia that I coached and work with. And she's like, Darren, I've never really done anything, you know, like, she was a side side hustle in a business. And she was a single mom with three daughters. And she had a cleaning company, 20 employees. And she's like, look, I'm coachable. Tell me what to do. I'll do it. And that's important, because a lot of people say they're coachable until you start coaching them. And then they realize, Hey, as long as you tell me what I'm comfortable with uncoachable, but they don't realize that comfort zones are designed to keep us safe, are they created to keep us safe? It looks at sameness as security. And so everything that we ever wanted in our life is outside of our comfort zone. So she was very coachable. She was willing to put in the work, but three daughters, a single mom all in cheer, then building the side business. But we went out there and I said, look, it's not how much you do, it's the effectiveness of what you do. So I don't care, you don't have to work 100 hours a week. Well, I'm gonna show you how to work in in the cracks and crevices of your day. She went on to make six figures, part time extra supplemental solar cleaning company made millions of dollars traveling the world, an amazing life, right, because she knew why she was doing what she was doing. And three daughters and cheer. I have three girls, two boys, they were never in shear. That's like a full time job for each child. So when you know why you want to do something, you have the reasons. You have clear reasons of what you want. You're coachable you're willing to put in the work. And there's other shortcuts to success as well. Shortcuts as far as if you want to get there sooner than later. I can go over but no, you're you're exactly right. But congratulations one eight times. That's an amazing story.

Cindy: 18:40

I mean, yeah, it is. And and then another thing is that when you have those challenges, it's just like, can it be done, but then getting out of your comfort zone, and a lot of people like staying in their comfort zone. It's just like, for instance, I know we talked us off off the podcast, but people making videos. Okay, no, like, I was looking at my videos three or four or five years ago. So I started actually making videos like eight years ago, and you're gonna laugh about this. It was selling Perfectly Posh so perfectly. Posh was like bath bomb lotion, soaps and all that. And I'm like, I don't want to I don't want to do videos and getting myself out there. I'm like, I don't want to do that. I feel uncomfortable. So then in when I got into real estate, I'm like, Oh my gosh, videos again. I don't want to do this. And I would feel like uncomfortable like but now moving forward and me being real estate almost five years. It's just like, oh, a video notice not a problem that's like on a daily basis. Like that's how people see your energy. That's how you get yourself out there. People love seeing you. And they get to know you as personally too. But that is getting out of your comfort zone because that's going to give you more visibility.

Darin: 20:03

Absolutely, yeah. So if you if you know what you really want, then you identify you set some goals. And you have this clearly defined goals because if you're not making progress in any area of your life is because your goals are not clearly defined. Then you look at the high payoff activities. What are the things that are going to move me in that direction? The Pareto principle, the 2080? Like, what are the 20%? Things that are gonna deliver 80% of the results? And then the other thing, I mean, Cindy, the secret to, you know, people go Darin, how did you go from bankrupt couldn't feed your family, to make him millions of dollars to building sales organizations, one of them did over half a billion in revenue, and it's still going to have franchises in five kids. And here's, here's, here's what I learned. Were, we think, 70 to 90,000 thoughts a day. Most of our decisions on a daily basis are subconscious. So you have to, you have to tell your brain what you want, and your brain wants to be right. And we have what we call the reticular activating system. So when you have those 70 to 90,000 thoughts going on a day. And our brain is designed to block most of the things out, you tell it what you want, and it allows things to come in through the RAS that filter system to serve what we tell it. So I'll give an example. Have you ever bought a car and never noticed how many were on the road to you bought it?

Cindy: 21:28

That is correct. Yeah. You meet someone? Yes. Do you see her? She's like, what? I didn't know that car. Yeah, you're so true.

Darin: 21:36

Yeah. So it's the awareness. And so yeah, I've been at a Tony Robbins event, he goes, Hey, I want you to count as many things as you can that are red go. And you want to greet them, they tend to close your eyes. And he goes, how many blue things that you see. And we're going you didn't tell us to look for blue. Because now open your eyes Do you see more blue. So you see what you're looking for. So all of a sudden, you're in real estate, you know, your goals, you've got it planned out, you're sitting in a coffee shop, five tables over somebody says something about a real estate deal, you hear it because it's allowing things into serve your goals and blocking things out that do not. So that's why it's so important. First of all, to have clarity, because your brain doesn't know the difference in reality and what you tell it. So if you visualize walking across the stage, receiving an award for the number one real estate agent in your state, or your region or your company, your body produces the same chemicals and endorphins, as if the experience actually happened. Your brain to know the difference. So you can experience an experience before you ever experience it. Why is that important? Because we move in the direction of things we're comfortable with, we're familiar with. So it's already happened, you ran out in the future visited your dreams, then you came back. And now you're like the little stepping stones to get you where you want to be. So it's gonna start attracting to you what you focus on, you attract, you start to magnetize, the condition that you seek, what you seek is seeking you. So when you have all of those things in the back of your for hours on that, oh, my students I do. But then all of a sudden you go, Okay, why is that important? If we're thinking 70 to 90,000 thoughts a day, we have to have a crystal clear vision of what we really want. By the time we're 35, we're programmed robots. Pretty much every day, the majority of our decisions, we brush our teeth the same way get out of the bed the same way. We have our little daily habits and rituals. So it's very important to think about what you're thinking about. Like you talked about thoughts or things it took me I'll be 50 years old next month. And it took me my entire life to realize the power of what you think about you truly do bring about and what you speak about. I was just I still my adult children, right? I'm telling them, be careful what you when you think a negative thought it is four to seven times more powerful than a positive. When you verbalize it. It multiplies it by 10 to 40 to 70 times more likelihood that it's going to happen. So the way that I shared it with him the other day, go, Look, you can't plant an apple seed and go Why did I get I want an orange? Why did I get an Apple because you get what you plant. And you don't just get one apple. When you plant an apple seed, you get an apple tree. With a lot of apples with a lot of seeds you're going to reap more than you sow. So when you think and you speak, it's like a paintbrush you're painting tomorrow today with what you think about and what you speak about. So being 35 years by the time we're 35 we're like a program robot at 90%. Same thing we did the day before. We have to be very intentional. And have clarity. Be proactive on what do you want. Then from me, you can't just go I want to change. It's total immersion. Right? It's total immersion in the right things. And then it's finding someone Cindy and choosing accountability. So for example, if I go into real estate today, I've never been in real estate. I know you've been doing it five years, Cindy, you're crushing it. First of all you are congratulations. I'll do an amazing thing, which is the only reason to be honest with you. Like I normally don't accept a lot of interviews, because I'm so busy, but when I looked you up I looked at your branding, your videos, your messaging, you are your brand you take you with you everywhere you go. Right? So what I would do, there's two ways that you could go make a million dollars. I can spend the next five years trying to learn what you've learned. Or I could say, hey, Cindy, you're in Georgia, I'm in Virginia, you know, what, how much would you charge me for a day with you, I'll draw a flat at Georgia, I'll spend the day well, Darren, it's going to be 1520 grand done. That's a no brainer for me. Because I don't want to spend five years and hundreds of 1000s of dollars and make all these costly mistakes, when I can do that, or I can buy your experiences. So I have found mentors in every area of my life. I've paid a lot of money to learn from a lot of people, but then I choose accountability. Knowing that I'm going to continue to want to go back to those old patterns, excuse me, and do what I've been doing this whole time, I need somebody that can hold me accountable. Because of blind spots, called a blind spot for a reason is blind to us. Les Brown says, look, it's hard to read the label. When you're in the box, it's hard to see the picture when you're in the frame. So finding those mentors, choosing to be accountable, right, because accountability is a choice, but we'll never get to where we should be in any area of our life without accountability. I may not look like it, but I know how to work out. Why do I have a trainer at the gym, he's gonna push me a lot harder than I'm gonna push myself. So those are a few little tips as well, I forget how I even started that. But I get excited.

Cindy: 26:56

No, becauseI mean, this this this was this was coming into how can you have success in every area of your life? And in order to be successful? You need to, it's not going to be only Oh, no, it's gonna be workwise business wise, no or personal. Because I mean, you have to have a balance. But if you don't have a balance, because first of all, it all, it all goes together. So you have the health part, you have the professional part, you have the professional part, you have the personal part. I mean, there's so many areas, if you don't take care of yourself, who's going to take care of you. If if you don't take care of you who's going to take care of your business. And it goes, you know, it's a domino effect.

Darin: 27:35

Yes, no, I agree with you. It's the wheel of life. If you spend and I just spoken, Dr. Fab man Sienese mastermind, which I've spoken to a few of them and they say is the next Dr. Phil, he's, he's phenomenal. But the last few that I've been speaking at some of the best in the world speaking on stage that I'm speaking on as well, like Les Brown, Mark Victor Hansen, Chicken Soup for the Soul, John Astor off from the movie, The Secret. Doctor, amen. Number one brain health expert in the world, and on and on and on, right. And through that circle, I've been able to meet some people that are worth their businesses do hundreds of millions. And then some of them are created built businesses that have done 10s of billions. And what's fascinating, is what I'm meeting all of these people from different walks of life, I've found that some of the most successful people financially that I've met have been the most unhappy, not all of them. But some of them, what they did was they sacrifice their health, the first part of their life to gain wealth, then they had to spend their well trying to get back their health, or their relationships suffered, whether it was their children, or their marriage, or whatever, whatever it was. And so as when I look at my life, I've been very fortunate to have mentors that taught me this many years ago. And so yes, I have I feel better now at almost 50 that I did in my 20s. And if you look at pictures of me in the 20s People say that I look better than I did in my 20s It's not hard to do, but then more hair then. So my health is better. I've been married 30 years now.

Cindy: 29:20

Congratulations. That's amazing.

Darin: 29:23

Yeah. And you know what, we it's better now than it's ever been. Right? doesn't mean there's not ups and downs and all that stuff. But if you're intentional about your marriage, five kids, three girls, two boys, I get pedicures with my girls, I work out with my boys. Right? So I love you know, I love my life. And then business wise, I've been very blessed to do some great things. And now I'm in a total new career path, which is, you know, I want to be the person that I wish I would have had decades ago. Don't people shave years off their learning curve, but I'm very intentional about creating habits and rituals in my life. And going to the people that have what I want. Because if we buy people's opinion, we buy their lifestyle. So none of you if you can see this on video, right? Some of you are going to hear an audio but if you see on video, I will guarantee you 100% None of you going to call them to Darren, what are your best haircare tips because I'm here challenged, I have no hair, I had to put powder on my shiny bald head before we started this right. And that's really good. Darren, of course, I'm not going to ask you hair tips. When you have no hair. Well, why don't we go ask business advice from people that do not have a successful business? They, we asked our broke friends and family, what do you think? Who cares? They're broke. So I'm very intentional about who I listen to who I get advice from. I'm very intentional. And Cindy, this has been a aha moment the last several years, you got to be careful who you share your goals with. Steve Harvey said, Look, if you want to kill a big dream, tell it to a small minded person. So I'm very intentional about my associations. I know I only have so much energy in my bucket every day. And I'm very careful who I give that energy to. But I'm very intentional about every area of my life. So I can do my best. Yes, there's seasons of unbalance, you know, being a little off balance seasons, we have to go grind seasons that, you know, one is a little bit more than another. But the goal when you're very intentional, you have a whole lot more balanced life, and you can be happy and you can have it all if you do the right things.

Cindy: 31:29

And I completely agree. I'm on the same page for that. Because it's like, if I'm intentional. I mean, if you would have met me five years ago, while me my mentality was a completely different one. But what actually got me here was my divorce. I think it's the best thing that ever happened to me. And like

Darin: 31:55

you gonna chat for a second while you go take care of it. I can do that. Hey, family, right? Yes, you're being real right now. Kids running in, you're giving them the look, you're pointing on the side. That's what my whole life has been with five kids.

Cindy: 32:08

And this is and this is why I say this is the Adventures of Parenthood, you know it, you have a tell the pups into the middle of like, oh, gosh, but

Darin: 32:19

you're being authentic, which is what attracts people to you. And a lot of people make fake.

Cindy: 32:25

And if people are afraid of sharing, that'd be like, Oh, no, I have to be perfect. And all that. Oh, no, what will they say? It's just like, sometimes I do take my kids to showings, and sometimes they're like, let's say for instance, this is like probably a few years ago, they were jumping on I was making a video and I'm like, Hey, you and I just bring them and I use them as props. And I just pay them ice cream. They're like, so where's your employees? I'm like, Well, I guess you guys are?

Darin: 32:52

Hey, as long as you don't offer them as a package deal with the house today. Oh, you get the one that's not behaving really well.

Cindy: 32:59

So is that negotiable?

Darin: 33:02

You don't buy today? This one comes with the house, right?

Cindy: 33:06

That is true. It'd be like, okay, sold.

Darin: 33:09

There you go.

Cindy: 33:10

But yeah and that's and it's completely true with little things that happen in life. I mean, we have to maintain a balance. But if we don't work on ourselves, we don't invest in ourselves, then how are we to become a better person in reading and having that knowledge and, you know, knowing the trends, you know, knowing a little bit of everything is really important. Like let's say for instance, okay, there. So I've, um, I've read like, Joe, oh, my gosh, I forgot his name, but it's like rewiring your brain. Joe Dispenza. Yes, Joe Dispenza books by him the books of the secret. Bob Proctor is also like, you are, have you surround yourself with what you're going to become? That's what you're going to have to start reading. Have you read? Have you start like watching TV that is not like, like trash on TV that is not going to apply? Or get you to where you want to be at, then what are you going to become? So it all ties up to to those little things is what you listen to what you watch what you read and who you surround yourself with?

Darin: 34:22

100% Yeah, exactly. You can't take the most powerful supercomputer ever created your brain and fill it with crap when it's filled with negative stuff and expect to live a positive life. So when you listen to who you're associating with, because you show me your closest circle, your future, right, you become the average of the people that you associate with the most. So a great question to ask, once you stop listening or watching this is, hey, look, what are my associations doing to me? Or what are they doing for me? And sometimes it's not what I need to know. It's who I need to know. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Cindy: 35:01

No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Well, that's very true.

Darin: 35:05

This is like you go first ladies first.

Cindy: 35:07

So and that's very true. Because what you and what you speak what you what you say what you talk when you surround yourself with

Darin: 35:18

Yes, yes, that's true. That's true. Yeah. And I'll give you an example. While you're, you know, the the, you become the average of the five people you hang around. And again, ask yourself, what are my associations doing to me or for me, and then me coming from a small town, what I would tell people listen, I am hiring one of the top 20 YouTubers in Forbes, and paying the same thing I would pay for a new car, they thought I was crazy. But I didn't expect them to see God gives you the vision, not he gives it to you. It's not your vision, not other people's. And so for me, I was like, No, it's not stupid doing that. That's smart. Because why don't want to spend a decade trying to figure out what he learned when I can pay him for a day, compress years into a day, right decades into a day short my learning curve and get to where I want to be a lot sooner than later when I went out. And I use that and I made. I mean, there's no telling probably, you know, seven figures, from what I paid to hire a top YouTuber. Same thing with social media, I had no social media following years ago, I hired one of the top in Forbes. And then I blew it up to hundreds of 1000s of people. Because again, it's okay to be a copycat as long as you copy the Right cat. So I'm very intentional that the right people in my life, because that's your right, you are your best investment.

Cindy: 36:37

And you attract once you you know what you want? And that's correct. You need to clarify, and you need to know, be intentional with everything, because that's the energy that you're going to attract into your life.

Darin: 36:48

Yes, we don't attract what we want, we attract we are and if we want to, we need to become more

Cindy: 36:54

that. And I completely agree with that. So let me see here. So we already talked about like, oh, and I wanted to ask you, because I know that you know, not the market is a lot of people are concerned with all like, what's going on the timing that we are in right now. Completely? What are your What are your thoughts on on what's going on?

Darin: 37:17

Yeah, the you know, Tony Robbins, because he's so in tune and connected to some of the wealthiest people and in the world. And recently, he said, Look, we could go through a five to eight year winter. And he goes, you can freeze to death, or you can ski and snowboard and have a blast. And he knows and I learned this from mentors of mine years ago, the biggest transfer of wealth happens during recessions, depressions during war, we have all kinds of crazy stuff going on right now. And this is the time that we it's separation season, it's the time that we can gain market share most people, they're not going to be willing to fight through the next whether it's one year, five years, whatever it's going to be. So me that's the reason the last 24 to 36 months, I've spent more money in me than I ever have in my life. Knowing the same version that got me to where I was not the same version that gets me the next level, knowing to get something different, I have to do something different. Knowing that where the world is, this is the time that you work so hard on you than anyone because we get paid based on the value that we bring to the marketplace. So I'm going to say working so hard on you, too, or anyone would want to work with you no matter what. So that's my perspective. Hey, yeah, we're gonna go if you look at Airbnb, and Uber, and Amazon and Apple, I mean, most of the companies that we know today, a lot of them came through, they launched during recessions, depressions, you know, during wars, I'm in some masterminds with people that are worth hundreds of millions when gas companies over a billion. So another group I'm thinking about, and they got a look in 2008, our business exploded. And when 911 happened, our business grew during COVID. We grew every time there's been a downturn every time everyone else says the world is caving in. We grew because we ask the right questions. We did the right things we thought outside the box. And I believe the next 20 You know, a year to five years. We either we innovate or we become extinct. If you look at Netflix and blockbuster, Blockbuster was Kochi blockbuster, Netflix went in and offered to sell for only 50 million years ago, and blockbusters like why we don't need you. We like charging people late fees. That's where most of our money comes in. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, Netflix they were they were disrupting they were thinking outside the box they were innovating now. Blockbuster. They were bankrupt and a billion in debt and Netflix dominates. This is the time separation season to go all in like you've never gone all in before. Like for example, Sandy. I'm speaking to a real estate group. They hired me to work with some of their people here locally. And I'm going to tell them hey, look, you know, there's gonna be a lot of real estate agents that if 30% I'm hearing I'm gonna be gone pretty quick. But the ones that stay think outside the box gain market share, not only you're going to grow, not go through the challenge times grow through it. But when we start coming back out of the winter, you're going to dominate. And they're gonna go, Where the heck did you come from? How did you do? How are you doing what you're doing? And then you're in your mind gonna go, Hey, listen, I'm doing what you're doing, because successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. And you're gonna have what you have, because most people aren't gonna be willing to do that. So that's, that's my thoughts on Yeah, it's going to be a bumpy ride. That's okay. Because when all when the when the level, the field is a level playing field, it's really hard to gain market share. But when times are tough, that's when it's very easy to gain market share, because most people aren't willing to do what we're willing to do.

Cindy: 41:07

It's thinking outside the box completely. And a lot of people are not willing to think think outside the box, they just want to follow the crowd completely. And that's just like, No, you know what, no, I'm just going to do whatever everybody else is doing. And that, for me is just like, I've always been like, No, I don't want to like, I remember people who told me because I also wrote a book and they're like, No, that's a waste of time. Why would you even do that? No, that's not even. That's not that will be good. I mean, why are you even telling your story? But, I mean, the more people that once I wrote my book, I put it on Audible and all that, too. It's just like, I started meeting more authors. I started getting to know people like, oh, I should write a book too. And it's just like, it changes your whole perspective, your mindset. If you follow the crowd, it's like, people will say, Oh, why are you putting everything on social media? Why are you posting every five minutes? I mean, I know there's certain extent but I mean, it's just like, people get to know me. For instance, Snapchat, people say, Oh, no, Snapchat is just for teenagers. Okay, so those clients that actually go through those people that actually people are nosy people are freaking nosy. What I'm telling you, even though they don't answer your phone call, but if you're on social media, you're on Instagram, you're on Facebook, you're in Clapper, you're on Tik Tok, you're on Snapchat, Pinterest, they will freaking follow you, they will look at your videos. But they that will create a presence and be like, Oh, remember when you were talking about your your were paying attention? Because I've had phone calls of people that have been like, they haven't picked up the phone. But then hey, you know what, I know, you're talking about this in this in this? How can we actually, you know, I want to work with you. Because that creates you being No, knowing what you're talking about and building that presence. Yeah,

Darin: 42:53

yes, absolutely. 100%.

Cindy: 42:55

But, okay, so I have one last question. I want to I'm curious about the franchise, because I've heard a lot of people wanting to know, and how to get into franchises and all that. What can you tell what was your experience with franchises?

Darin: 43:10

You know, businesses business and the, you know, the, the good thing about franchising is you can go into a model, where they've worked a lot of the kinks out, and you have that system, if you buy McDonald's, you go to Hamburger University, the cheese, cheeseburgers and the yellow wrapper, the fish sandwiches in the blue wrapper, the front machines on the left side, the shake machines on the right side. So the good news is that they have the systems in place, which can really help, you know, increase the chances of you having success. But there's also timing, you know, sometimes there's a bigger T than in the T and timing than the T antalet. So for me, it was back when the yogurt trend was exploding. And you know, they have a TCB why yogurt, but then this is when you could go in and you could, you know, buy a cup of yogurt in our franchises. You go I want some nice healthy yogurt with some, you know, some fruit on top and then we went let me get a few sprinkles and let me get some m&ms And let me get some mochi, and then let me put some chocolate syrup and weighed 10 pounds and we loved you because we charged you by the ounce, right? So the I knew when to get in, but also knew that if it's easy to duplicate it, they probably will duplicate it. So I got in at the right time I got out at the right time, you know, franchises, it is a substantial investment. You know, normally you're going to end up investing, you know, several $100,000 And then you got the employees you know, and which is like having additional children, you've got the overhead and you've got all the you know the things that come with that. But I believe you know, there's good there's bad and everything that we do, but you just have to know what you're getting into. When you go invest in a traditional business you're gonna have a several year lease. Like our leases were five years there were several $1,000 a month for small spaces and you know, you got all the things that you have to abide by. So there's there's a lot to it. But if you have great management, you have the rights systems in place, you develop leaders, you have accountability, you have structure, then it can be a very profitable, you know, experience. And the other thing, here's what here's this fascinating to Cindy, all the things that people that I did that people thought were kind of crazy, why would you spend so much money to do this and do that and learn this? And how's that gonna serve you? We launched their first franchise in a small town with frozen yogurt, but with my marketing skills that I learned, and my branding, and then learning the mindset of how not just a work of business, but to drive a business to move the needle. All we did we go, look, we're just going to open the door. And we'll hire people, it was my kids working. My mom was there, right. And this is a new experience. Back then years ago, we had 1000 people a day coming from day one. It was a line down the sidewalk, we were doing 10s and 10s of 1000s of dollars a week in frozen yogurt, not because we advertised not because of anything else, because of marketing, doing the right things, branding, thinking outside the box, getting people to share being creative with different ideas. And the founder of that franchise, which went on to be the number one in the whole country. He goes Darren, I've never seen anybody do what you did. And that's not to brag, but that's just to impress upon everybody is listening. Jim Rohn said, Look, formal education will make you a living self education will make you a fortune. So what do you do the next few years you invest? What do you invest in? Is it real estate? Is it crypto, I will tell you the number one investment hands down, you can make it's you. Because you're going to take you with you everywhere you go. And if enough, and I'm telling you that has been the best thing I've ever done. And yes, you want it to sting. I know when I go invest money, I want it to sting, it's gonna hold me accountable. When people work with me, I go, Look, I don't care if you work with me or not, I love to work with you if we're the right fit. But if we're not, then you need to go somewhere else because I'm not cheap. But people that pay pay attention, and I know I can get you results. And if you don't want to spend 30 years like I did millions of dollars of mistakes 1000s of events and books and audios and courses and programs, then I would love to help you compress timeframes, but if not, it's okay. But I like to invest where it stings, I like to work with people that are willing to invest because I know that people pay pay attention. And they know that you they feel like they get what they pay for. And so the next few years, find people that have what you want, invest, model what they do, you'd like total immersion, saturate your brain I read, I listen, I the courses, I take programs I associate with the right people, then I need people in my life to hold me accountable. Because if we've been doing what we were doing our whole life, you can start, you can buy a program. But most people, they never go through the program, or they don't execute on the program. It's like my program, like, what I'm doing is I don't do it with you type program. It's a six month program. But you got to find people to hold you accountable in the gym and your spiritual life, whatever it is. So when you tend to go back to that natural, that comfort zone, know, they're keeping you in check. So we can rewire our brain rewire the thought process. It first it's pure discipline to do a lot of these things. And then it becomes part of our personality, it becomes who we are on a daily basis. At first we create the habits and the rituals than they create us.

Cindy: 48:56

And that is I mean, accountability is something and discipline. It's just like, some people don't have it. Some people it's like, no, I can't do it. And like you said, if you don't have that, and you're not willing to do the work and you're not willing to put the effort and you know, then it's not for you. But if you want to accomplish it, then you'll put everything all your efforts into it. Because it's about you you are your own image or your own marketing. You're your own brand. And people don't see it. They see. They'd rather have like, hey, you know what, but it has to be a big company. No, you are your own person.

Darin: 49:39

other people in your life that tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear that one of the guys I'm coaching, you know, it's like, hey, I want to do this eventually. I'm like, Dude, why are you waiting? Well, I need to do this. No, no, you do it messy. I go to execute. You know what to do? Like, don't make the mistake. Like he was talking about launching a podcast stuff like that. Like, I go No. And come back. Darin, you'd be so proud of me, dude, it's going right so you have to fail for do it messy. We're never going to feel ready. For all of you that are listening. People that hear me speak now and see me on stage of our 25,000 people. It's easy to go I can never do what Darin did but that's why I can't wait for him to get the intro over Oh, yeah, show all the great things just so you'll listen. But then Hey, forget that. Let me tell you about the real daring kid 25 years ago, like I would pass out in front of five people, I did not have a college education. I live in a small town, I was depressed. And so when they see that they go, Oh, okay, it's possible, but we're not gonna feel ready. Nine out of 10 times. That's why psychologists have proven it is easier to act your way into a feeling than feel your way into act. And that motion creates emotion. So for all of you out there, we can make excuses or go live the life that we were created to live, I believe we're created in the image of our Creator, were designed for success, the world programs us for failure, we're told more about our limitations on a daily basis than our possibilities and potential. And so for those that are out there, right now, you got a deep burning, like sensation in your gut going, you know, I was created for more. And Cindy, I will I don't know if you have any other questions, but I'll end with this. And the last three to four years, I've had the most challenging three to four years of my entire life. So I had almost died with appendicitis. I was in the hospital. It was half a month. My nephew, his wife, and 11 month old twins were in a house fire, my nephew and one baby did not make it out. My mom died unexpectedly and I'm a mama's boy, I talk to her twice a day she ate with us every night. I built her a business and, and my wife would laugh and she's like talking to your mom again. I'm like, I don't know what I'm gonna do without her. She unexpectedly passed away over a year ago. Like over a decade ago, my wife's grandfather lived to 99 whether you're 11 months old, 24 years old, like my nephew 67, like my mom, 99 like my wife's grandfather. The thing is, we think we have time, all of you listening, well, I will do this someday will someday may never come. So the key is treating it as if this is the last day of our life. And one day we're going to be right. So for all of you, if I get one person that listen to this whole interview, or any piece of it, that makes a decision. You know what he is right now is the time Cindy is right. I've got to stop waiting. Tomorrow may never come. And today is the day you can't change your life overnight. But you can change the direction. You can make a decision. You can take action and start today. So Cindy, I don't have any other questions. But I want to make sure that I got that in to motivate and inspire people go and listen, now is the time to take action.

Cindy: 52:47

And I I mean, I completely like I said I completely agree with that I live by this little a slogan or this that says hey, saying that says life is too short to miss out on opportunities. And that's why I do everything that I do is just like, hey, you know, I want to jump out a plane, I jump out a plane I held for instance, I had held so long to have my pilot license one day decided, You know what, I'm not going to wait any more. I'm just going to do it, waiting for what? You know what I might just end in some people but but you might die from that, look, if I'm going to die, I might die crossing the street, I might just die. Taking the shower, it doesn't matter when it's your time is your time. And there's nothing you can do about it. So life is too short to miss out on opportunities. So just take advantage of the opportunities that you have today and start thinking about tomorrow. So you can't What are you doing? You're wasting your life and that might never happen. So Darren, thank you for coming. I love your podcast, I love having you as a guest and hopefully I will have you back again.

Darin: 53:50

Absolutely. I appreciate the opportunity and I'm excited to see all the amazing things that you're going to do this year and and I would love to know if anybody you know listens to this podcast you know I love for them to reach out go Darren I heard the interview you and Cindy here I made a decision and here's what I'm gonna do because when you share with other people it holds you accountable. It's not for me, it's not for Cindy, but it's for you. So I'd love to know if anybody gets inspired and and your goals you know for this year after this. So thanks again Cindy. Have an amazing rest of your day.

Cindy: 54:20

Thank you to Darin