Real Estate and The Adventures of Parenthood

Episode 60 - EZ Dating Find Love in Who You Are!!

December 12, 2022 Cindy Presgraves Season 1 Episode 60
Episode 60 - EZ Dating Find Love in Who You Are!!
Real Estate and The Adventures of Parenthood
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Real Estate and The Adventures of Parenthood
Episode 60 - EZ Dating Find Love in Who You Are!!
Dec 12, 2022 Season 1 Episode 60
Cindy Presgraves

EZ Dating Find Love in Who You Are!!

Meet Mike Goldstein who is the #1 dating coach in the US.  He gives us his insight after 15 years in the business.  He has been on the Today Show as well as different publications.  Mike gives us the insight into what a dating coach is and how to find love successfully. Are you ready for love, Free Gift.
Gift:
Free Discovery Call
https://www.ezdatingcoach.com/schedul...

Cindy's Realty Group by eXp Realty
Cindy Presgraves REALTOR®
678-650-1425
888-959-9461 ext: 1323
www.CindysRealtyGroup.com

Questions:
Email: Cindy@cindysrealtygroup.com

Instagram: Cindys_Realty_Group
TikTok: CindyPresgraves
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CindyRealtyG...

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! 
Start for FREE

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! 
Start for FREE

Support the Show.

How to become a Realtor? Read my book:
https://a.co/d/3Y91jFa

Audible:
https://www.audible.com/pd/B0BB53FDFB/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-318935&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_318935_rh_us

Looking to Join my team send me an email:
Cindy@cindysrealtygroup.com

Instagram
Https://www.instagram.com/cindy_presgraves

Titkok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@cindypresgraves

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindypresgraves/


Show Notes Transcript

EZ Dating Find Love in Who You Are!!

Meet Mike Goldstein who is the #1 dating coach in the US.  He gives us his insight after 15 years in the business.  He has been on the Today Show as well as different publications.  Mike gives us the insight into what a dating coach is and how to find love successfully. Are you ready for love, Free Gift.
Gift:
Free Discovery Call
https://www.ezdatingcoach.com/schedul...

Cindy's Realty Group by eXp Realty
Cindy Presgraves REALTOR®
678-650-1425
888-959-9461 ext: 1323
www.CindysRealtyGroup.com

Questions:
Email: Cindy@cindysrealtygroup.com

Instagram: Cindys_Realty_Group
TikTok: CindyPresgraves
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CindyRealtyG...

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! 
Start for FREE

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! 
Start for FREE

Support the Show.

How to become a Realtor? Read my book:
https://a.co/d/3Y91jFa

Audible:
https://www.audible.com/pd/B0BB53FDFB/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-318935&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_318935_rh_us

Looking to Join my team send me an email:
Cindy@cindysrealtygroup.com

Instagram
Https://www.instagram.com/cindy_presgraves

Titkok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@cindypresgraves

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindypresgraves/


Cindy:

Hello and welcome to your Baddies Boyfriend Bitches Dating and Everything in Between. And today we have a special guest. His name is Mike Goldstein. Mike, can you tell us a little bit? First, can

Nicole:

you tell us a little bit about you and your TikTok following and what you do?

Mike:

Yeah, um, I've been a dating coach and online dating expert for I don't know, I guess nine years full time. But in the industry for 15 or so. I have the highest success rate in the country at putting people in relationships at 83%. I was on the today's show. I don't know. 10 years ago for this. I've been published in Shape magazine. nj.com, New York Posts a lot of other places. Yeah, and I have a very efficient system of getting people to fall in love. And I'm excited to be here.

Cindy:

Thank you so much. That's excited and honored today showing all that 15 year so tell me before social media existed? How did you? Did you? Is there a difference between now and before the whole TikTok? Instagram, Facebook? Did you think there was more people connecting face to face than nowadays?

Mike:

Um, yeah, I mean, it was well, I mean, I'm in regards to my business, like everything used to be in person. Like I used to live in New York City. I mean, I started just offering people free advice and offering free sessions. And teaching them I mean, but even back then, when I first started online dating still existed. I mean, I don't know when match.com got started, but I'm guessing about 20 years ago or so. It was a long time. Yeah. So. I mean, Cindy, my first girlfriend even when I was 16 years old came from ame. If you remember that? I don't know.

Nicole:

I remember that?

Mike:

Yeah, AOL Instant Messenger. I said, A S L to someone age, sex location. And, thankfully, it was actually a 16 year old girl and not like a seven year old dude. But yeah, I then met her at a local mall. And then we hit it off. And then that was my first girlfriend that 16 was even that was online dating before online dating even existed.

Cindy:

Wow, I remember those days. I mean, especially like Yahoo chat. I know. It was like, You got into this rooms. And then you met other people and all that. And it was yeah, I forgot the ASL.

Nicole:

i My grandparents actually met on Yahoo Messenger. So I'm, I've always grown up because they I think they were married for about 20 years. So I, I grew up with them in that story. And that's, well, that's her third husband, but we won't go there. So sorry, grandma.

Cindy:

Well, that's really, I mean, completely, I forgot. I mean, is your things that you would bring from what do you use to use like, back then till now in order to improve dating? Or what are like relatively good things to help us in this dating world?

Mike:

Oh, boy. I mean, I think there's two major pieces to finding your partner. The first big one is just like, finding love and who you are. And really, really embodying that. I mean, historically, like I've gotten depressed over extended periods of time. But going on a journey of like finding what you love about yourself and being nice to yourself, and I mean, everyone has different issues. Like mine, specifically as I need to be nice to myself. But whatever people's issues are, is discovering that discovering who their parents are, what their grandparents were, and how they treated them, and then how that trickled down to who you are. And then, you know, figure solving whatever childhood trauma you have, even if you had the greatest childhood on the planet, which, you know, my parents were amazing. I have a very easy life, but there's still things that have caused me to have things show up in dating. And I think everyone needs to at least, get discovered or what's going on there, discover who they are, start loving themselves, be able to articulate, you know, their ish their shit to a partner. And this is who I am, this is why I do that. And then once they can do that, then they need to seek out someone like me, who is going to teach them a systematic process to find a person that's going to be compatible? And then they can, you know, have an amazing partnership, if that makes sense.

Cindy:

That does make a lot of sense. I actually had a dating coach last year. And after Well, after my divorce and all that and my breakup, I went ahead and I seeked a lot of therapy. Yeah, therapy, I went through a psychologist, psychologist counseling. And then I also went a little bit deeper with that. But um, yeah, I mean, it actually, it actually helps, especially identifying all those trigger points, that trauma thinks that Why are you avoidant? Why? Why are you not communicating? And then when you catch yourself doing those things, then you're like, hey, you know what, I want to communicate better? How can I change to become a better person, but not for that person? But for me?

Mike:

Well said

Nicole:

you would think I think, I think women are really, really good at seeking out therapy and trying to focus like on ourselves. But I feel like men are not as open as as women are. I mean, I'm sure that, Mike, you've seen that. Do you think that that's an accurate statement?

Mike:

I mean, it's 100% accurate. I mean, the data shows, if you I mean, let's look at book sales, 90% of self improvement books that are sold are female, but men only buy 10% of the self improvement books. I mean, that's a very telling story. And then I don't have the data. But if you look at how many people are signing up for therapy, I'm sure the percentages are wildly skewed towards women.

Cindy:

But but my thing is, why is it that men? Is it? Because is it a pride thing? Like you need help? Why don't you seek help? You know, how can you improve yourself? Or is it just like, they just want to be in the same place? They don't have that ambition of bettering themselves in it's just like, you know what your wants me? Then come and get me. If they don't, then you know what, whatever, a hole is a hole at the end of the day for them?

Nicole:

Jesus, correct.

Mike:

You know, I don't think we talked about this. And this is just theory, you know, I don't have anything to back this up. But I feel like it's probably pretty accurate. Growing up, men are taught to be to be tough. And so let's say, a man, you know, boy, excuse me, like, falls down and starts crying. Everyone's like, toughen up, kid, get up, stop crying, men don't cry, boys don't cry. And then it just perpetuates as we get older. Men are only useful when they can provide an income. Right? When men can, like what woman wants to date, a guy that makes you know, 20 grand a year. They don't. You know, a man doesn't hit a woman's radar until he can provide something financially. And so with that being said, like, he doesn't have time to go in his emotions, like imagine like a salesman, that every time he got rejected, he started crying. Well, he'd never make any freaking money. He's got to get back up, you know, hammer out the phone, hammer out the email, whatever he's got to do to get a sale. And men have to be tough. So to dive into his emotions, some you know, at least for the aspect of producing money or becoming a man of worth, in some people's eyes. It's a waste of his time. And people don't a lot of people look at a man and say, you know, be tough, don't have emotions. And I think we're just finally hitting. You know, maybe in the last 510 years, we're finally saying, Hey, man, it's okay to cry. Hey, man, it's okay to have emotions. And hey, man, you still have value even if you don't make money. But I mean, it's hard like and, and don't get me wrong. It's hard for women to like women were still telling, like, hey, you need to be beautiful. And men, you need to make money. But now we're finally saying to both sexes, Hey, you don't need to be beautiful. You don't have to make money. It's okay to just be whoever you are. And so, as a society, we're starting to become more accepting. But that's why I think less men are seeking out help because that's not what society is asking for them to figure out their emotions. We're, we're telling them figure out your money. figure out providing value to society?

Nicole:

Well, that question is I saw something on Tiktok recently, where there was like a question asked, and you know, you could stitch it or whatnot, but it was, should you date in the same financial realm as yourself? So I'm curious to know what your opinion is on that.

Mike:

Now, is this a woman looking for a man or a man looking for a woman?

Cindy:

Let's put it both ways.

Nicole:

Yeah, I would I think this well, that on tick tock, I think what I saw was, you know, a woman saying, you know, should basically should she make more than the guy that she's dating, or should you date, you know, someone that makes about the same. So I guess, in that context, it would be a man or a woman.

Mike:

So like, I have a lot of clients that are females in their 60s that make a ton of money, like anywhere from like, 200, all the way up to like a million dollars a year. And so, you know, especially once you're looking at 300k, plus, there's only so many men that make 300k plus. So with these women, they're like, I'm not attracted to a man unless he, you know, makes the same income as me. That's what they say to me. I'm like, great. So we'll just target men that make over 300k. And I'm like, I think there's, like, you know, however many 1000 are in your city, there's, you know, up, we targeted it, there's, there's five. So this is your dating pool, you got these five guys, and they've got to line up emotionally, spiritually in every other way you want them to, or let's say you are making 300 million, and you've got savings. And, frankly, you don't need a man to have any money. Well, what if you found a man that aligned on everything, and you had the most amazing time on the planet together? And he took care of you in every other way. And so what, you know, you make so much money, maybe your help pay for vacation here and there, or whatever happens? Do you really give a shit if he's like, you know, cooking your dinner massaging you and supporting you when you have problems? And just is there for you? I would argue you don't give a shit? I don't know what do you guys think?

Cindy:

Okay, so on this, okay, I'm gonna let you Nicole.

Nicole:

So I can do fairly well for myself. I'm not going to say how much I make. But it's, I think it's pretty decent for what I do in my age. So my, my current boyfriend, we've been together almost 11 months, he was making about half of what I made. And it wasn't a problem in the beginning. And I'm the kind of person where I want to split everything, I don't want him to feel obligated to pay for everything. Maybe the first day he paid for. But after that, I feel like we should, you know, split the tab. But it did kind of get to a point where I felt like I was paying for more than he was. And we finally had a conversation about it because I was feeling some sort of way. And it came down to if we ever want to live together, I need you to be able to contribute this percentage. You know, not obviously half of what my bills are, but a percentage of what I think you can, you know, contribute. But at this rate, you can't. So that's a problem. But we we were able to figure that out. And he actually quit the job that he had and started his own business. Because I was trying to help him grow. So it kind of evolved into into a life goal, I guess for him to you know, better himself. But that was definitely an issue for us for a few months, is the fact that he didn't make as much but I wasn't I don't think that I was trying to make him pay for dinner and go out all the time. It was just like, hey, if you're going to be at my house all the time, maybe chip in for groceries every now and then. Or something along those lines. I don't know Cindy, what's your opinion on that? All right.

Cindy:

So I have a list of things you understand what I'm saying? Be like Okay, here we go. Okay, so I let's say that I am very I'm pretty well off. And I take care I pay for my kids private school. I have a nanny. I fly. You know, I fly every other weekend. My whole thing with men and I have no problem they make less than me or not. It's going to come down to they can't deal with the insecurities. They can't deal with a different lifestyle. They don't attend they don't have a flexibility of hey, you know what, two weekends ago? My brother called me At nine o'clock in the morning, I told them pick me up at 10 o'clock. Pick me at 10 o'clock 10 o'clock at night at the airport, like see you then if I do that to you or do that to, to a guy that does not make more or less the amount of money I make, that's probably red flags for them. That's like insecurities like, Oh, she's gonna leave me for someone better. I don't want someone better. I mean, I would love someone that is ambitious and as a go getter, hustler. But at the end of the day, I want someone that is going to be crazy about me and love me and take care of me and, you know, be there for me, but same time, I want to be able to reciprocate you to them. So it's just like, like I taught, I met a guy on Tik Tok yesterday, while we've been messaging back and forth, and he's like, I'm frugal. And I'm like, Dude, this is not gonna work for us. He's like, because if he's frugal, he's already telling me he's cheap. And that that's basically a red flag for me. Because then I tell him, Look, you're not going to understand the lifestyle that I have. Meaning that I'm I do investments, I do different things. But if you're telling me that keyword already, I don't know. And he's like, look,

Nicole:

I'm frugal. I will spend money on air conditioning, and good fucking shoes. But other than that, like, I'm gonna I love my coupons. But I get what you're, I get what you're saying. I think, like, you want someone that's on the same playing field, I guess and can go along with your spontaneity?

Cindy:

Yes. Instead of being like, hey, you know what? Oh, no, I have to say for this, because he even told me, he's like, hey, you know, I've been looking at this car, but I'm really, really good money, but I don't want to spend it. And sometimes you do have to pamper yourself. It's not like I go crazy shopping. Because I mean, you know, me, I hate shopping. I hate shopping. But you tell me, Hey, let's go on a trip. See? Yeah.

Mike:

I mean, I think, you know, it's easier to maybe talk about the money side of this. But I think what's more interesting, at least to me to talk about is lifestyle. Like the way Cindy wants to live is a certain way. And I think Cindy's partner is gonna live the same way. Whether he makes a million dollars a year, or he makes 50,000, as long as the lifestyles align, I mean, don't get me wrong, there's gonna there could be some issues, you know, that Nicole brings up like, in disparity, and who pays for what, but like, let's say you really have this bond where you know, this person is family. I think you guys are gonna figure it out. Like, historically, you know, I do very well financially. And it's because it's a man to woman thing that we say in societies, okay, that I end up paying for a lot of things. But we need to then have a little shift, well, whatever, frankly, women are gonna, especially in the next 10 years, and even right now women are going to make more money than men. And the reason being is less men are going to college more women are more women are doing therapy, more women are just in the schools. So women are going to take over all the executive roles, and they're going to have more money than men. That's where we're headed. All the data reflects that. So we're going to have a shift where women are going to have the money. And maybe at times, they're going to have to pay, you know, it should be okay. But what's not okay is when we're looking for love relationships, having different lifestyles, if Cindy wants to live a certain way, there is no way whatsoever that she should have to change how she wants to live, her partner should be same as her. Oh, God, what was the other thing that you said? Oh, and Cindy, men that are intimidated by your wealth and your affluence? Those are not your guys. The guy who is for you is going to look at you and be like, Wow, that's freaking incredible. How well you do. That turns me on. Come here. Any other response? That's not the guy. So we should be talking about these issues. Not the money. I mean, I guess that's part of it. But

Cindy:

let me add something to it, too. All right. I love jumping off planes. I mean, I love jumping off place. I love skydiving. So I'm, I'm working on my pilot license right now. You know, I I do ziplining I do different different I do rock climbing. I am very outdoorsy. I'm very adventurous. I'm fearless. And that's another thing that people are afraid so lifestyle is really important. If you tell me, Hey, I don't have the balls to jump off a plane. Then I'll be like, oh, hold your hand. Let's go ahead and jump. And you tell me now and be like, fine.

Mike:

Yeah, I'm with you all. I think we we should move on. I think we hit this one pretty hard.

Cindy:

Okay. Go ahead, Nicole. I'm

Nicole:

talking too much. So, whenever you do match up someone with your business, what kind of criteria? Are you looking for?

Mike:

Like matching them with their partner? Yeah. I mean, that's totally up to them. Like, I need to find out, I just listened to them. I just asked and asked 10s to hundreds of questions about what they're looking for. And also I do with them, like, I'm not a matchmaker, I'm a coach will go online, and we'll start messaging men. And then as men come back, you know, assuming I'm working with a woman, we'll work together to see what we think and then decide which men get a date or not. That makes sense.

Nicole:

That makes sense. Yeah. So you're coaching them to like on dating apps, right? So like, write messages and try to connect that way? Or is it more

Mike:

or older, and we're on a match.com? Okay. In the perfect world, there's more information on a match profile, as opposed to like a hinge or Bumble, or? And so if we are going to online data, prefer to have as much information as possible.

Nicole:

What's your opinion of, of dating apps besides match? Like, what do you think about Tinder and hinge and Bumble?

Mike:

So I want to be clear, I'm the number one online dating expert in the country. But with that being said, I hate on my dating.

Nicole:

pretty shitty dating app. Or it's, um, some profiles. It's we I've tried to make a series out of recently. Oh, my

Cindy:

gosh, yes, I've seen it.

Mike:

I mean, like everyone I talked to, or not everyone, like 95% of the people I've talked to don't like online dating. It's not fun. For the most part, it's a second job. Like, falling in love dating, like dating can be a lot of fun, you go out, you have a good time, you're in person, you're mingling, sitting in front of a computer like that, you know, it can kind of be a little fun. But ultimately, the rejection, the ghosting, the not caring, because it's not a real person, because you haven't actually met them. Like, we don't treat each other well. So it's not fun. And it doesn't matter how nice of a human being is, if they don't, there's no consequence. It's just the internet, like, we're gonna be mean to each other, even if we're good people. So it sucks. Yeah, it does. But with that being said, you can if you can figure it out with the right strategy, one out of three people get married from online dating. So if you can build some thick skin build the right strategy, you can get some massive results.

Nicole:

Do you have a top dating app that's your favorite besides match? Or is match just the only one that you deal with?

Mike:

For folks that are probably like over 45 It's a match.com. And then maybe under 45? If you're looking for a relationship, I'd say hinge. If you're looking just to have some funsies. And maybe you're traveling whatever, you know, bumble

Cindy:

No, I have I actually I'm actually into dating apps. And that's it. So this is going to be silly, but right now I'm only in the league and hinge. And I'm really not on those apps recently. It's been like a few weeks and I'm most likely talking to more men on tick tock and from tick tock, we switched to Instagram and then we just start video chatting back and forth

Mike:

not only problem all the big problem I have with tick tock Well, there's a lot there's so many problems with all this. But the first problem with tick tock is you don't know what city the person lives in. So you could be matched with people that live far away. And dating is freaking hard. And it becomes so much harder when someone lives far away. And there's no real I mean a lot of these men that are probably matching with you Sydney or it just all looks bass and looks bass and especially on tick tock they're probably thinking sax a lot of them are not thinking relationship. So I mean, assume I don't know. I mean, are you looking for sexual relationship?

Cindy:

Relationship but I'm most likely like with these people. I what I've been doing is just basically just friendship. Because I want to build a solid foundation. If I don't have that solid foundation, then If I can't do anything else, like, I'm not going to waste my time and day events. I say this, I'll like, I'll talk to different people on different social media platforms, but it's like friend base, like, Hey, how you doing? Checking in on you, blah, blah, blah, how's your day going? But it's just like I'm just seeing. It's not like, it's like you're looking through a catalogue right now.

Nicole:

How did you meet your? I guess the person that you're dating, right now? Was it on an app? Or was it in person? Well, and of course, you don't have to answer that.

Mike:

Hopefully, I don't get anyone in trouble. Because it's a little risk a little bit or a little taboo. Have you heard of, oh, boy, get someone in trouble, right.

Nicole:

Go for it. Peer pressure.

Mike:

I'm sorry. I'm in trouble. I'm honest. Um, have you heard of the matchmaking company? toxify?

Nicole:

Yes.

Cindy:

No, I have not.

Mike:

Alright, so it's a very big matchmaking company. It's throughout the United States. I believe in both and I don't know if it's all cities, but they're in a lot of cities. And they've got a big operation. Anyway, I'm signed up through there. One of the matchmakers was trying to set me up on a date. And eventually, we came to the idea both of us agreed that the client didn't make sense for me. But the matchmaker I kinda liked. And apparently, she liked me. So I kept it professional so that she the whole time but then a week later, I messaged her, and I'm like, hey, you know, I'd like to take you on a date. So I don't think either one of us was supposed to do that. But

Nicole:

I love that. I think that's great

Mike:

they really like each other.

Cindy:

Hey, then you never know you.

Nicole:

Yeah, you've never done expectedly.

Cindy:

So toxify so what do you think about matchmaking companies? Because I did sign up for one last year, around this time, and I cancelled it all sudden, because? Yeah. I felt wasn't.

Mike:

I love the idea. You know? I think especially like, if you get a good matchmaker that can also coach you and, or if you come to the table like already have done in your done yourself work. I think a matchmaker can be amazing. But personally, and the reason I became a coach is I truly believe a coach. Like you can't necessarily buy love, you've got to kind of do the work. So I think that's part of what coaching is like, Alright, fine, Mike, I can't buy love, I'll do the work. But this fricking thing sucks. Online dating sucks. And I have to do it all by myself. And I don't want to I'd like a support system. Like anything else I wanted to do. I can hire someone and they would help me. And no one knows the dating coaches love coaches exist? Well, why can't I do it with Mike, we'll have as much fun as we possibly can like laughing when we get ghosted or laughing when some guy is a deck. And then we move on to the next one, or Ooh, that guy looks like a gremlin. Let's move on to the next guy. Like have some fun with it. But also have someone who's a frickin expert that's partnered with match OKCupid eHarmony for 10 years that has all the data can optimize the process and zoom you through this that, you know, would take you, you know, 10 years to learn on your own. Instead, I just give it to you. And in a minute. Here's the optimized process. I lost my What was the question?

Nicole:

Well, do you think most people don't use dating coaches? Because or maybe matchmaking services because it's expensive? I have no idea what it costs.

Cindy:

I mean, I'm not. It comes on different packages in different levels. The package that I got was between five and 10.

Mike:

And that's on the lower end for matchmaking. Okay. toxify is a volume business as well. I think they're like three to six. But then, you know, boutique firms usually are like 15, all the way up to 125,000. Like they're expensive. I think the reason they don't use coaches and matchmaking is most people it's not a money thing. I think most people are. Think love should be free. Like we've been told we're going to fall in love. It's just gonna happen. But it's not just happening. You kind of gotta go do something.

Nicole:

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's definitely not just happening.

Cindy:

It's work. You got to put the work in. A lot of people don't wanna put them work nowadays, right? It's just like what? Okay, so now we're coming down to effort. So, and this is not only men, this is men and women and you put it on there. If a man does not put effort in there, and the woman does not put effort, then what are we talking about?

Nicole:

I mean, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, Plan B's when you're on when you're dating online, too. You know, I feel like a lot of people don't want to put in that effort and that work, you know, and so they just move on to the next like, oh, I don't like your kneecaps. Maybe I'll go to the next one. And it because there's more options, right? There's, there's too many options, I think. Or it seems that way anyways, that there's too many options, or maybe I don't know, maybe it's just, I'm in my mid 30s. So I don't know how old you are, Mike. But it seems like you know, late 20s, early 30s. I don't know if maybe men just don't want to settle down or they're, I don't, I don't know what the issue is. But there there does seem to be a shit ton of options. And no one really wants to kind of stick around.

Cindy:

So I was, okay, go ahead and answer and then I'm gonna, I'm going to say something.

Mike:

Well, I think a lot of people are still seeking partnership, a lot of men are still seeking partnership. A lot of women too. Oh. There's just so much things getting in our way. Like the stress of life. Technology in some aspects have made our lives worse with like social media, and these phones that we become addicted to. But alright, so. And then trauma, like trauma that we're dealing with, where my head on with us, ultimately, people do want to relationship, it just funneling to the right person. And yes, there's going to be a lot. But we've got to get more efficient at getting to what we truly want and need faster. And then to your point, not giving ourselves too many decisions at the bottom of the funnel a few off the top of the funnel, we get in you know, 50 100 of 500 men or whatever. And we're figuring out if they have the things we need. And then once we get to the actual dating part, and the getting to know them, and actually considering chemistry, my person don't have, you know, 10 options there. Maybe just two or three so that we can actually make a compare and contrast decision. We know as humans, we can't make decisions when there's more than basically three options. After that we just put our hands in the air. I think, Cindy, you're a realtor, like if you give someone 10 houses, they're like, Fuck, I don't know. There's too many one of them. But you're given three good houses. Yeah, we can make a decision. Okay, that one's a little bigger. This one's a little prettier do I want the bigger the prettier one, boom. So we need to be strategic in every aspect of the funnel that is dating, if that makes sense. And we only need one partner. So we got to realize that even if we go through who this guy just wants to have sex, that guy just wants to have sex. That guy has a different lifestyle. Just keep patience. We're gonna get there and we get the guy and then we haven't for the rest of our lives.

Nicole:

It sounds very simple from what you said.

Cindy:

So can I order one of those please?

Mike:

Don't we do?

Cindy:

I'm doing so what I've seen is so like I said, I'm on hinge determines on the location. So it seems like in the Boston area men are seeking you put Boston 100 miles radius. There's a lot of men looking out there for long term relationship. And this is what I've seen them their profiles. in the Atlanta area. There's a group called our resharing boyfriends, Atlanta. And these men are savages. They have two or three girlfriends or double playing them. I mean, and Nicole has said it on on on one of her episodes on our one of our episodes is that when she started this group, it was because there was one guy dating four different women at same time. So do you think it has to do with location?

Mike:

No.

Nicole:

Yeah, I don't think so either. I think if you're going to be shitty, you're going to be shitty and a different part of the country.

Mike:

Yeah, there's shitty man everywhere. They're like, let me give you an example about myself. When I'm in a bad place, like when I'm feeling depressed, or my business isn't going well, or My health isn't going well, or whatever, when I go out into the dating world, which I do sometimes when I'm depressed, I put out that exact energy and then women, maybe some of them, for example, don't treat me as well as they could, they canceled dates, last minute, and I still show up and take them on a date some other time. And I will allow them to have what I've been told bad behavior, canceling dates last minute, you know, two times in a row, not good. And I'm allowing it and other things. Other examples. However, when I'm at a higher vibration works going well, I'm working on my fitness. I'm feeling good about myself. And I don't put up with the bullshit. And a woman's gonna show up at the same level I am, you know, that's doing well financially, has his act together lives two blocks from the beach has his own spot, has, you know, a two bedroom, two bath two blocks from the beach and has his act together. Just everything's aligned. I'm smart, blah, blah, blah. When I demand that, then all the women that are not on at that level, see that they have no shot, they see that I've got my act together, and there's no way I'm going to put up with their crap. And so when women men come and demand a certain standard, everything else just bounces off. And then when something equivalent comes near them, then they can go on dates and see if it's a fit. But you're not gonna have these guys playing these games. When you're demanding higher.

Nicole:

High Value woman will get a high value, man. Simple

Cindy:

attraction. I mean, it's energy. I mean, it's what you feel how you think of yourself. That's why the whole self worth comes into play.

Nicole:

Yeah, agreed. Well, I know that we're right at time. So Mike, thank you so much for joining us. And I think I think you had a little free gift for our listeners are Cindy did you want to migrate? Either one of you.

Mike:

So I have this amazing free gift. What it is, is a 15 Minute discovery call with me. You can be in any part of the country or anywhere in the world, really. But only sign up. If you're interested in getting coaching with me or other team members. On my team. We have four coaches, we specialize in a whole slew of different things. So if anything in regards to falling in love, online dating, or anything, and revolves dating, and you just basically want to solve your love life. If you're in a relationship, you want to make it better, you're single want to find your partner. We have the most successful program in the country. We're just doing really well. But I will say it is expensive. So be ready. You know, have and have done some self work if you're in a place where you're feeling mostly good about yourself. And just all you want is your partner. Or all you want is to improve your current relationship and you're ready to invest in the process. Then sign up for this. We're going to do the work together. And we're going to make your relationship amazing. We're gonna kick that to a curb or if you're single, we're gonna get you the most amazing partnership of your life. I'm not talking about mediocre I'm talking about the relationship. That is the last one. We're not going to waste their time with ones that are kind of good. I'm talking about the relationship, then, you know, go in there. Go click the link to sign up for a discovery session and we're gonna change your life forever.

Nicole:

Awesome. Thank you so much. And we'll go ahead and post that link when the podcast is posted to so so this is Mike Goldstein with easy dating coaching. You're listening to Dear Baddies, Boyfriends Bitches Dating and Everything in Between. Thank you guys for listening and have a great night.

Cindy:

Have a great night guys.

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